Workaholics Anonymous has prepared twenty questions to ask if you suspect you are (or somebody you know is) a workaholic:
1. Do you get more excited about your work than about family or anything else?
2. Are there times when you can charge through your work and other times when you can't?
3. Do you take work with you to bed? on weekends? on vacation?
4. Is work the activity you like to do best and talk about most?
5. Do you work more than 40 hours a week?
6. Do you turn your hobbies into money-making ventures?
7. Do you take complete responsibility for the outcome of your work efforts?
8. Have your family or friends given up expecting you on time?
9. Do you take on extra work because you are concerned that it won't otherwise get done?
10. Do you underestimate how long a project will take and then rush to complete it?
11. Do you believe that it is okay to work long hours if you love what you are doing?
12. Do you get impatient with people who have other priorities besides work?
13. Are you afraid that if you don't work hard you will lose your job or be a failure?
14. Is the future a constant worry for you even when things are going very well?
15. Do you do things energetically and competitively including play?
16. Do you get irritated when people ask you to stop doing your work in order to do something else?
17. Have your long hours hurt your family or other relationships?
18. Do you think about your work while driving, falling asleep or when others are talking?
19. Do you work or read during meals?
20. Do you believe that more money will solve the other problems in your life?
Many if not most of the questions above can be answered affirmatively by individuals who don't have work prioritization issues. However, #'s 14, #17 and 20 are certainly signals that the work-life balance is not sufficiently balanced and that some outside assistance might be beneficial.
While it's possible that one is simply in a job or has a boss that requires too much of them, it can sometimes be hard to see this without the perspective of a third-party--particularly if the problem is within the individual or if the worker is using work to compensate for something else in their life.
In this way organizations such as Workaholics Anonymous can be useful resources for a life course re-correction the same way that Gambler's Anonymous and AA are able to help with those compulsive behaviors.
Are You a CoDependent?
Lack of Identity
A codependent person usually has a very difficult time embracing their true identity. Normally, a role was emphasized in the family of origin that left them believing what they did was more important then who they are. When behaviors are emphasized more then core identity and worth, with a lack of emphasizing the preciousness of a child, a child will learn to outwardly perform, while inwardly feeling lost and empty. This will last and develop through adulthood.
This same person will enter into relationships in order to allow his or her identity to become enmeshed in another person. This entanglement will be so extreme in some cases that he or she will be unable to think or feel outside of that other person. He or she will also feel responsible for that person and become obsessed with helping that individual and meeting his or her needs. In doing so, he or she will indirectly attempt to have their personal needs met.
Attachment/Detachment Disorder
Often, a codependent person suffers from Attachment Disorder. This mostly involves an inability to bond and “let go” (attach and detach) in a healthy way. The root of this behavior is normally formed from 0-3 years if a child did not properly bond with a parent or caregiver. It also could be caused by a parent who overly bonded and did not know how and when to let go.
Need to Control
A codependent person was normally programmed in an environment that was out of control Because of this, he or she developed survival skills in order to maintain a sense of control. As a result, a codependent will often manipulate people and circumstances to get a desired result, often in a subtle and indirect way. Many times, without realizing it he or she is trying to “play God” and manage other people’s life to make things “right”.
The only cure for such behaviors is learning to trust that God is in control and has complete sovereignty over everything and everyone. Sometimes, a person needs to learn the belief systems that interferes with the ability to trust God (and people). We must learn to “let go and let God.”
Being Overly Responsible
Often, the insanity of a codependent person’s life is that the people in his or her life have a serious problem, such as a drug or alcohol addiction. While being attracted to this type of “broken person” initially, their sickness of addiction causes a wide range of problems. One of these is that chemically addictive people are often irresponsible. A codependent person learns to adapt to such irresponsible behaviors and compensate for that person’s missing gaps.
Often in doing this, the codependent person is neglecting his or her own responsibilities. This is a root reason that a codependent person becomes an “Enabler”.
By not allowing a person to suffer the consequences of their irresponsible behavior, the cycle of an addiction will oftentimes not end. A person living with an addict must learn not to accept negative behavior, or encourage it through “helping out” in the bad choices that addict makes.
Setting boundaries against this behavior is essential. A codependent person must also learn that each individual is alone responsible for his behavior.